Elizabethan Explorer Gifts

William Shakespeare

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Physician tending a mummy.

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'It's an extinction notice.'

Tourists in Egypt

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"Life after death"

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"You've been served."

Souvenirs.

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

The joy of sects.

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

"'I think, therefore I am'? - How illusory can you GET?"

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

"Tut's outdone himself this time."

"Free why-fi.”

Europe on $5000 a day.