Elizabethan Explorer Gifts

William Shakespeare

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Physician tending a mummy.

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'It's an extinction notice.'

Tourists in Egypt

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"Life after death"

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

Souvenirs.

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

"You've been served."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

The joy of sects.

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

"'I think, therefore I am'? - How illusory can you GET?"

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

Europe on $5000 a day.

'I'm inventing the wheel, and I'd like you to be my SPOKESMAN.'

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

"Free why-fi.”

"Tut's outdone himself this time."