Elitist Financier Gifts

The Snob Fund - Sorry, Closed to New Investors.

A child runs an equity stand.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'That's my boy...'

Warren Buffett as a child

'He's precocious.'

No caption. (Adult pushes buttons at an ATM. Child pushes buttons at an "APBM" - and Automatic Piggy Bank Machine.)

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"Want to trade banks with me?"

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

Investment advice from father to son:"Learn to walk and then learn to invest. I'm depending on you to look after me when I grow old."

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

"Tooth fairy funds may seem consistent, and birthday money stable, but you really need to consider diversification of your portfolio."

Girl holding money.

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

The Economy Discovers FFF!

'One day son, all this will be theirs'.'

'Junior, if you don't do your homework and stop daytrading, we'll have to freeze your assets!'

'This isn't a diploma. It's a stimulus package!'