Elitist Financier Pillows

The Snob Fund - Sorry, Closed to New Investors.

A child runs an equity stand.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'That's my boy...'

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

"Want to trade banks with me?"

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"This one's really scary. It's about what's happening to my 401k."

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

Investment advice from father to son:"Learn to walk and then learn to invest. I'm depending on you to look after me when I grow old."

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

"Tooth fairy funds may seem consistent, and birthday money stable, but you really need to consider diversification of your portfolio."

The Economy Discovers FFF!

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

Girl holding money.

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

'One day son, all this will be theirs'.'

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'