Elite Institution Admirer T-Shirts

Various sporting officials think to themselves: '4 years at West Point for this'...'5 years at MIT for this'...'6 years at Julliard for this.'

"What old school? This is my life."

Bottle Opener Strikes A Red Wine Well

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

Royal Picnic

The Codfather.

"I've gone for a retro phone."

"See what I mean? They're sensible, but they don't look sensible."

"They just don't make 'em like Doc Malone anymore!"

Harvard Waiting List

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'

'You can't just get up and leave without permission.'

"Call me old-fashioned, but I felt much more at home with the Forsytes than I do with the Louds."

Oxford tour guides

Countess

'Use the stepladder. We've started another level.'

"He's always, like, 'Oh, really? I went to school in Canis Major - well, not in Canis Major, but just outside Canis Major,' and it's like, we get it, you went to Blarvard."

"Just a glass of wine with breakfast, officer."

"When are you going to give in and buy a cell phone?"

The Epsom Derby - An Earl Throwing Sticks at Cocunuts

'I thought I heard you rattling around.'

'During our vacations in Aspen, Cecil, did we hobnob with the rich or super rich?'

'I want everything, bring me everything we have on that.'

You can't just secretly monitor the conversation of every cafe patron. Of course I can. I'm the cafe's proprietor. I run the joint. I'm in charge. I'm a strong leader. I make touch decisions. I protect moms and children. I find and destroy evil. You use short, declarative sentences. I win.

"The Sculleys, the Jensons, the Walkers, Freedy, Joan, Don and the Bowes. Oh, well, Madame de Stael had to start somewhere."

Franz Oppenheimer

'Millionaires Club - Self-Made - Inherited'

'A Chiswick Fete'

"Hi! Just a quick call to say thanks for still using a landline."

Ladies' Mile

'No suspicious circumstances here chief. Just some old rich dude who spoiled himself rotten.'

"I'm already seeing an anthropologist."

Caught their eye.

"Well gentlemen, I think it's time we rejoined the ladyboys."