Elf Espionage Enthusiast T-Shirts

Undercover Santa

The Anti-Agent

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Barks in code.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

'I don't have any formal training, but I do own the complet boxed set of 'Get Smart' DVD's.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

"Ok, I found a secure line."

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

Milkin' Impossible

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

'I'm counter - intelligence'

"I've dabbled in espionage, but my main area of expertise is self-sabotage."

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

"You wouldn't believe the things I know."

The EP-21 spy plane.

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

Park bench reserved for Mi6 recruitment.

Elusive Shadow.

"Relax! I know how to make this look like a routine government surveillance operation!"

"I think they may have rumbled me, Sarge."

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

'Yes, sir. I could show you the menu, but then I'd have to kill you.'