Elevator Music Gifts

'How can you not like elevator music?'

'Gee! I liked Muazk better than this laugh track!'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Muzak's Top 10

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

"How small will he get?"

Executive Elevator: Up Only

Abandon Personal Space All Ye Who Enter Here

'Okay folks, this is as high as we go.'

Closed. He was unable to complete the elevator repair today -- Further steps will need to be taken.

"...Now they're playing tape number 7710K. It starts with Johnny Mathis hits arranged for strings and woodwind, then goes on to Mister Henry Mancini. After that..."

Elevator dilemma.

Legends of Hold Music

"Just be honest and tell him we're lost."

'Sorry! I thought nobody would notice.'

Family living in an allevator

'OK, it moved a little, but I can't do this all on my own. Teamwork, people. We all need to bounce at the same time.'

'These elevators are slow, but it sure beats flying.'

Near Death Experience: 'Hey, watch it with that thing, pal!'

Where we Get Muzak...

Political Polls, Inc: (Elevator): 'Up. Down, Undecided/don't know'

"I guess this is me."

"Oh, no! How are we going to divide this space by seven?"

"Well, I'm sorry, but I just can't help mindlessly humming the corn ball tunes I pick up from the elevator."

'Now THAT'S what I call great elevator music!'

"Sorry, Ma'am. Down only."

"Pushing buttons with anything other than your index finger is an affectation."

At the elevator music recording studio.

"I continue to wear a mask as a courtesy to you. My wife says I have terrible breath."

Elevator button for bar & grill.

'That's the best hold music I've ever heard, I'd like to sign you up at once'

'This elevator has the most romantic Muzak soundtrack.'

Phee-ew! Who let out the fear?

Gilligan's Elevator.