Elevator Comedian Gifts

"Oh, no! How are we going to divide this space by seven?"

"I continue to wear a mask as a courtesy to you. My wife says I have terrible breath."

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

"That explains all the cavities."

'I'm playing 18 floors.'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

Muzak's Top 10

Control Center. A satellite is falling! Tell NASA to divert it so it doesn't hit North Africa. Good golly, Miss Mali!

Elevator buttons read: Way Up/up/Down/Way Down.

Interpretive Dental Hygiene

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

Monet At Open Mic Night

"How small will he get?"

That scandal-plagued politician insists on taking the elevator, rather than the stairs, to the lobby. He's refusing to step down.

Abandon Personal Space All Ye Who Enter Here

Welcome to Radio City Music Hall.

Elevator dilemma.

Executive Elevator: Up Only

Closed. He was unable to complete the elevator repair today -- Further steps will need to be taken.

Actually, I think you looked better with Atlantis.

"Hold on, one more thing to go."

Penguins going for flying lessons

Ye Olde FIgure-Drawing Classe

Man on the way to Heaven worries about steps.

'Have you heard about the origami shop?'

Make Your Own

Legends of Hold Music

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

Family living in an allevator

"The asteroid has what looks like a small rear end on the back of it."

'These elevators are slow, but it sure beats flying.'