Elevator Eccentric Pillows

'Going down?'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Newt sale

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

Thumbing a Lift.

Going Down?

Yoga Sequence to Avoid

Muzak's Top 10

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

'What a day! My secretary was out, our biggest customer canceled a large order, the computer broke down, I didn't have any lunch, and leaving work I got stuck for an hour in the elevator with an 18 year old nympho with big breasts!'

'Going up?'

"What does it look like? I'm running a little late this morning."

How Platypuses Are Born

Elevator dilemma.

Lighting a Pipe

Man Reaches For The Puree Button On The Elevator

A Macaroni in 1773

'Okay folks, this is as high as we go.'

Welcome to Radio City Music Hall.

The Haroplane

'First the good news: he has 3 excellent legs.'

'I swear Marge! If that little punk comes back in here and pushes all them buttons again, i'm gonna kill him!' - Life in the elevator.

Legends of Hold Music

"So, you found a way to triple the speed of our computer."

"Just be honest and tell him we're lost."

'For crying out loud! Someone hit the reset button!'

'My son wants to become an elevator engineer.'

"Am I getting older, or having elevators started playing great music?"

'Only six more floors to my cubicle.'

Near Death Experience: 'Hey, watch it with that thing, pal!'