Elementary School Humor Lovers Gifts

CSI Elementary School. They matched the prints on the ball that broke the window to my finger painting.

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

Teacher's pet dog

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

Billy strip: help with homework.

It makes no sense. The number of books that can be stored on a small device is constantly increasing, yet school kids seem to be lugging around bigger backpacks every year!

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

"OK, who can tell me why it's important to know stuff."

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'