Element Collector T-Shirts

Raining chemical elements.

Elements

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"Well....I could've done this!"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Jazz is Invented

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Six jazz instruments.

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

'You know, there's no need to reinvent the rock.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know the drill.'

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'Now you know where you left your tools.'

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

Aberdeen Smoking the Pipe of Peace - Aberdeen and France at War with Russia

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

As you like it - One way of catching fish

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'It's my latest invention -- I cal lit 'a rock tied to a stick.''

"I wonder what this was for."

"The harmonica! Boy you're lucky, my cowboy plays the double-bass! I tell you what, it's a pretty awkward thing to carry around..."

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'