Elegant Event Attendee Gifts

Husband and wife at the races.

Sloaney Pony.

Wine Lady

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

All dressed up and no place to go

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Glyndebourne

"Oh, he's so romantic."

I am your BIGGEST fan!

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

Analysis of Beauty - Plate II.

"You've got to blurb me to her."

Nothing puts the flavor in a hot dog like a sports event.

"I didn't realise it was a formal do."

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

"I know I was ecstatic to get tickets for Glastonbury - it's just that now I realise I have to go."

"I'd like you two to meet Will and Diane Clampett. Will is the powerful chairman and chief executive officer of a large multinational corporation, and Diane is his passive-aggressive wife."

"Your party just totally blew us away."

Little guy using telescope to see past a big guy blocking his view in the crowd,

'You've definitely mastered it, Richard, but not every song is appropriate for the chicken dance.'

"You don't find a style. A style finds you."

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 5

"Any apologies for absence?"

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

Non-Jewish Events and Jewish Events

"I couldn't find the giant scissors."

'This is Hargreaves - he's in charge of corporate hospitality.'

The Official Talking Christmas Tree in Dress For Excess

"I don't really follow sports. I just like how it looks."

'And this one for handling tough questions from congress...'

'Be sure to take a companion that matches your dress, young lady!'