Electronics Technician Gifts

"I've checked, rechecked and triple checked this circuit and it should work!! You electrons aren't cooperating!"

'A few years ago all we needed were some people who could hammer and some people who could paint.'

Too Much Information.

'We can fix it for $79 or you can buy a new one for $12.99.'

'I can update you to digital, but first I'll have to update you to analogue...'

Before the development of the microchip, attempts to build a laptop computer were largely unsuccessful.

'Your TV is programmed to expire in thirteen months. Do you want to opt for the extended warranty?'

'You say your picture's funny?...I'm surprised you got a picture at all. That's a microwave oven!'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"Officer, my husband went back there last night to hook up a DVR... and I haven't seen him since!"

Keeping the projector cool

Sorry it's so dark in here - We've got a short circuit somewhere.'

"I think it's high definition, is too high."

"Mainly we supply material for nuclear reactors, electronics and costume jewelry."

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

Honey, wake up! The world's gone widescreen!

'Funny, it usually works OK after you've given it a hefty kick.'

"Janet, the television man is here"

"These are just the directions to the remote. The directions to the TV are much longer. Technology!"

Electronics information and complaints...NO whining

'We can't do much about the ear phones, but Bubba here can customize your ear to make it fit better.'

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

...and this one has a self repair mechanism!

'He's even brought his own remote control.'

Things you should know about...

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"We can also sell you another remote control to help you locate this model."

Cat Assembling Electronic Fish Finder

'I've wired the e-mail to the toaster.'

'I can fix the fuzziness and the vertical hold, but I can't do anything about Chris Matthews.'

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

Rage.