Electricity Bill Dodger Gifts

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until March Madness is over before turning off my electricity?'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

Hear me, Graduates!

Financial Advisor. The next time you let your inner child out to play, don't let him play with your credit cards.

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

Updated Proverbs. We come into the world with nothing. And leave deeply in debt!

'It will take all my nine lives to pay off my student loans.'

It's an I-O-Ewe.

'So, who's first?'

Kicking The Habit

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

'Ptuwah! This is tap water!'

You've been extending Randy credit to buy food and drinks? You've no right! That's thousands of dollars. Have you any idea what that … Armstrong? Defibrillator. C'mon, really. It's not that bad. Okay, fine, make a show of it. Defibrillator! And a coroner.

Tonight's Lecture: Your share of the national debt. That explains my credit rating.

'Money doesn't have wings, feet or wings. My dad says that nevertheless, it disappears with the speed of light.'

"It's a ransom note from our energy supplier!"

'If you can't beat 'em join 'em.'

"So I figure, as long as I stay a student then I can't repay my student loans."

Gas Bill

And your repayment period starts...Now!

FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF, 'It's official, sir - EVERYBODY'S overdrawn!'

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.