Bill Dodger Gifts

'One minute she was eyeing her hospital bill, and the next minute...'

"I thought all the bills we were going to ignore were coming electronically."

Letters and Bills.

"So tell me, did you install gold, silver or platinum water pipes?"

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

A $50 co-pay? Well, go find someone named 'Co' and maybe they can pay you."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"That feeling when you're suddenly hit with a large bill."

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Nun Binning the Devil

Melvin would go to any lengths to get away from McDonald's advertising...

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT

Election Cancelling Headphones

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

Revenuers will be shot.

The Demon's Disguise

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'Cheer up, Mr. Laping. It's only until the fishing season is over.'

'We bought this bolt hole to get away from politicians talking green politics.'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

"Be careful with your third wish. Another book you might already have read would be a bummer."

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"

'I've got to go, Alice, you know how the boss frowns on personal calls.'

'I like to take one day at a time.' - 'Trouble is you're three weeks behind.'

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until March Madness is over before turning off my electricity?'

"We interrupt this endless stream of mind-numbing adverts to bring you a TV programme..."

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."

THERE IS A MOUSE IN THE HOUSE... WHERE IS THE CAT?

'That was a test of our school's emergency broadcasting system. If this were a real emergency, you would have been asked not to talk to reporters.'

'Doesn't look good...My ear plugs nurse.'

"Man-to-man talk, Randy." "Proceed, friend." "If you were being audited, and you may have accidentally burned all your receipts and ledgers...would it be manlier to run away to a country that has no extradition treaty with the ours, or to weasel out of it by ratting out an even bigger tax cheat?" "Or, would it be manlier to frame the auditor for a crime he didn't commit?" "Gonna have to take a day to think about this one."

'Crystal! You didn't duck and cover! If this wasn't just a drill and I had been a real deranged fan, you'd be soaked in beer right now!'