Elder Care Champion Pillows

"Mijo...get me some water...not cold, but not hot either...just kind of cold. Maybe with just one ice cube... But not in a glass. Put it in a cup and stir it with a spoon."

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Handle With Care

"Did you remember my mints?"

"Careful."

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

Jonathan was so sleep deprived after the arrival of his baby that he accidentally burped a workmate.

Doctors Discussion

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

"Someone to see you!"

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"Don't worry - the Power of Dad still trumps the Power of Attorney."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Caution Student Driver.

Responsibility

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

"Oh no, those aren't recharging stations for phones. We have those there so physicians can get themselves recharged!"

'Be assured about you mother's memory - we back up all the residents onto hard disk once a week.'

"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."

Fetch the Walker

"For someone your age, the yearly premium on a $5,000 policy is $8,000."

'When you get older everything hurts... and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

How to save money on geriatric care?

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

Care Home Eject Button.

"My butt is loose!"

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore