El Niño Analyst Gifts

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

US and the EU

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

'This may be an old computer, but it won the March Madness office pool again and wants the money deposited in its Swiss bank account.'

"Are you sure that's not a typo? -- Maybe the cow jumped over the moor."

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

'They've been like this ever since Mary presented her report. It's the worst case of paralysis by analysis I've ever seen!'

Mirror tells wicked queen from Snow White: 'If you do not wish to know the truth, please look away now.'

"I just reviewed your life...Here's your handbasket."

'Children are all right, Carson, except they're so damned unprofitable.'

"I have made some notes about last night's story, that I would like you to clarify."

'Or we can go with trial-and-error.'

'I'm a good ape, but I've never really been a great ape.'

Who should have been nominated to baseball's hall of fame 2013...

'Yes, it was love at first sight. Who would've thought that five years on, I'd be sick of the sight of him?!'

"I never dreamed my fun data analysis hobby would one day turn into a career."

“Nightmare on Pine Street...”

Bertrand Russell.

2017 hands a new crisis to 2018

"I thought it had a lot to say about evil villains who want to take over the world."

"No, son, I don't know what decisions will be made about your social security. Good night."

Psychiatrist analysing Sigmund Freud.

"My fellow-investors..."

'Can you believe that seven women, that's 83.5% of females in the 21-50 age band who are present, think I'm boring?'

'I know it's silly but I think our son enjys your company a lot more than he does mine.'

Dog Recurring Nightmare.

"It's settled - we'll eat the slowest and the weakest."

'Granddad's telly's broken, sweetheart. It won't show childrens programmes, only sport and news.'