Egyptian Mythology Enthusiast Pillows

"Wait! Wait! Even better, put the head of a bird on him."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

Physician tending a mummy.

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

Egyptian chiropractor.

"I thought I told you to employ a reputable building firm"

Pyramid Handicap Parking

'We'll have to redesign it. Whenever the Pharoah's wife tries to sunbathe on the roof, she slides off.'

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

The Mummy's Purse...

Sphinx Food

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

Pyramids exploding.

How to create a password you can remember...

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

"Aha. . . the Sphinxter!"

'I know it's only a dummy run...but I'm telling you there's no wi fi signal in the tomb.'

'Oooh, she has your eyes Horus.'

'I know what you're thinking.'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

'Mummy' clocking into to work

"Just so you know, I'm taking all this with me into the afterlife."