Egyptian Mythology Enthusiast Pillows

"Wait! Wait! Even better, put the head of a bird on him."

Physician tending a mummy.

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

Egyptian chiropractor.

"I thought I told you to employ a reputable building firm"

Pyramid Handicap Parking

'We'll have to redesign it. Whenever the Pharoah's wife tries to sunbathe on the roof, she slides off.'

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

Sphinx Food

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

'Bugger!'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

The Mummy's Purse...

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

Pyramids exploding.

How to create a password you can remember...

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

"Aha. . . the Sphinxter!"

'I know it's only a dummy run...but I'm telling you there's no wi fi signal in the tomb.'

'I know what you're thinking.'

'Oooh, she has your eyes Horus.'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

'Mummy' clocking into to work