Egypt History Buff Pillows

"Call yourself a fortune teller? I've never even heard of the Cairo museum!"

Physician tending a mummy.

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

Pyramid catflap...

Sphinx Comes Alive

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

Pyramid Handicap Parking

'We'll have to redesign it. Whenever the Pharoah's wife tries to sunbathe on the roof, she slides off.'

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

"Have your people call my people."

Curse or not, Dave had to pass this exam.

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

The Birth of the Pyramid Marketing Sales Scam (circa 4,000 BC)

Mummy Busks For Coins For His Cases

'Thank goodness next week we'll be in a new dynasty and we can make some other style of pottery.'

'So, Pharaoh, what sort of collateral do you have to put down on this $2 billion Great Pyramid you want to build?'

Pyramids exploding.

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

How to create a password you can remember...

'Oh no. The building inspector. He's worse than the Pharaoh.'

'I know it's only a dummy run...but I'm telling you there's no wi fi signal in the tomb.'

"Aha. . . the Sphinxter!"

'I know what you're thinking.'

'Home equity loan for a pyramid.'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

'The spheres keep rolling away, Your Majesty -- how about we just build a pyramid?'

'Mummy' clocking into to work

"Just so you know, I'm taking all this with me into the afterlife."

"We're pretty sure it's the West Nile Virus."

"Could you explain this 2500 year gap in your resume?"

Gaza destruction and cause.