Ego Detective T-Shirts

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

A boy acting suspiciously

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

"It's his ego growth chart."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

'I think he would come back to earth if women would just stop kissing him.'

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

Stratigraphy

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

The Boss.

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

"So what is the true need for this project?" "To make me look good."

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

Hierarchy with 'Me' at the top.

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

'Nothing has come to my attention today and I want to know why.'

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

'I don't need such a big office as this. My ego does.'

'Just as I suspected, Simpson. The extinction process happened very suddenly.'

Pierre was full of himself.

"You're sucking all the fun out of my misery."