Educational Television Gifts

'If I had my life to live over, I'd pay more attention to Sesame Street.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

'When they came up with a 'do your homework' app, then I'll know technology can really make life better.'

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"Nostalgia is one helluva drug."

'I expect 'Sesame Street has seen some new developments since I was your age?'

Child thinking pregnant mother looks like a Telly-Tubby.

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

Molecules You Ought To Be Aware of:

"He's watching too much educational TV."

Pastor of Muppets

"Goodnight cerebellum, goodnight hippocampus, goodnight little neurons that jump to synapses, goodnight medulla, prefrontal cortex, with the pills that I take it won't be complex."

'I stopped watching Sesame Street the second I found out it was educational.'

'Well, that answers that age-old question. According to the tape, the chicken came first. . . which brings up another age-old question: is the last one a rotten egg?'

Teacher with wing-mirror on blackboard.

'Sure, it's fun to watch, but Sesame Street is just a trick to get you softened up for school!'

Natural history museums for children.

"Mum, it's the poste'mon"

'No, Jeffrey! It's a trick! - That's EDUCATIONAL TV!'

"What's the point of algebra?"

Ancient Egypt. What's the first principle of Egyptian archeology? "Follow the mummy"!

Donald Trump cuts PBS funding.

'They can't fire Barney. He has tenure.'

"One, one Milky Way! Two, two Milky Ways! Three, three Milky Ways! Four Milky Ways! Ah ah ah!!!!!"

Aardvark elementary school

It's all done by stop motion photography, don't you know!

'I was home schooled for the First Grade. Then I got too tech savvy for my mom and dad to handle.'

'Noddy never done US any harm!'

Children's Television Character Genealogy Service. Yes, Big Bird, it goes back several million years, but you are related to Barney the Dinosaur!

"Do you have something more like Alex the Architect?"

'Turn on your cell phone, Mom. As soon as I learn the alphabet, I'll text you.'