Educational Shortcut Seeker T-Shirts

"Instead of taking notes, can I just purchase a transcript of today's lesson?"

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"I'm beginning to regret taking this job at the local playgroup."

Interdisciplinary studies.

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"Three more years of high school."

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

'You don't have to worry about my future any more -- I just downloaded an entire college education!'

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

"Of course you'll study Latin. How else will you learn the names of your dinosaur friends."

"I wasn't copying off others. I was just crowdsourcing the answers."

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

Fuzzy Math.

"Studying friction is a real drag."

"I think we could work very well together."

"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

Student to teacher: 'After Accelerated Math I think I deserve a rest.'

School of Ology.

Public Relations 101: Today's Lecture: 'Weapons of mass deception.'

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

'And another confusing thing, they give you a ‘textbook,' but it has nothing to do with texting.'

'I don't have to go to school. My mom teachers me.'

'What did I learn in school today? You can't chew gum in class even if you brought a pack for the teacher.'

"With the Suzuki method, they start them campaigning as early as three or four."