Educational Humor Lovers Gifts

Teaching students going through puberty.

'I was only promoted to fourth grade ten minutes ago, and I've already wiped third grade out of my mind.'

"I know why we're the symbol for teaching - we look like a heart."

A Puppet Named Juan

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

Math Teacher

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

Master's Degrees of the Universe

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

'People, get a half-life!'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

String Theory for Beginners.

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'We don't know what this is called'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'