Educational Financiers Gifts

"Daddy made six hours of your tuition today."

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

A child runs an equity stand.

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

'I'm pretty sure I have a Ph.D. I think one came bundled with my new computer.'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

"Want to trade banks with me?"

No caption. (Adult pushes buttons at an ATM. Child pushes buttons at an "APBM" - and Automatic Piggy Bank Machine.)

'He's precocious.'

'...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education...'

'We're going to take a financial risk.'

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

'He's so spoilt, he has his pocket money paid into a Swiss bank account.'

ABC. Uh-oh, here comes the penalty for early withdrawal.

"Tooth fairy funds may seem consistent, and birthday money stable, but you really need to consider diversification of your portfolio."

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'

The Economy Discovers FFF!

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

Girl holding money.

'This isn't a diploma. It's a stimulus package!'

School administrator of the year "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

'He's trying to put three kids through college.'

'Junior, if you don't do your homework and stop daytrading, we'll have to freeze your assets!'

"I'll look into it, but you're still in the first grade. Normally, they don't give student loans until you're in college."

I would like to start a regualr investment program that will help pay my daughter's college textbooks

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'

Parents teacher conference.

"Based on the economy and your rate of savings, I've updated your retirement projections."

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

Teddy, do you really want to be a banker? Roger that. Fat bonuses. Sweet yachts. Vacation villas. You know. The American dream. Where have we gone wrong?