Educational Comedy Aficionado Gifts

'...And that should cover all my rules for the class.'

A Puppet Named Juan

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Math Teacher

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

Master's Degrees of the Universe

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'People, get a half-life!'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

"I'm sorry, but your child just isn't very sharp. But don't worry. It's perfectly natural."

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

String Theory for Beginners.

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

'We don't know what this is called'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'