Edgar Allan Poe Enthusiast Gifts

The Tell-Tale Heart 2: Lost Phone On Vibrate

"You're going to hate yourself."

'Nevermore.' (quote the raven, feeding pigeons)

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

OM, SWEET OM

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

Truth

'Nevermore.'

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

I am one with stupid.

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

'I've checked his appointments. The only opening is for 'nevermore'.'

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

'Leaves glow away...Apples fall to the ground...Ah, ha. Apples are heavier than leaves.'

'Oh, that's the guru up there - I'm just the PR guy.'

"Not only do I not know the meaning of life, I also forgot why I came up here."

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

Edgar Allen Prozac

'The heck of it is, non-violence never solves anything either!'

'Hey, hey -- You've got to stay focussed.'

'As your banker, I feel I should tell you, the more enlightened you become the more of a credit risk you become.'

"Presenting a Few of New York Curiosities"