Economy Buff With A Knack For Humor Gifts

'I can give you something for depression.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

Trickledown economics

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'I feel I owe a lot to my country.' - 'So, you haven't paid your income tax again.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'We buy and sell them.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'What can we do to reduce our spending?'

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

First Market Decline

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes

We've been pre-approved by the credit card company to give them a loan.

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

Government Handouts.

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'