Economics-savvy Family Member Gifts

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'That's my boy...'

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

'We've been spending too much time apart on our mobile devices, and we need some together time. Everybody log on to the family social media page.'

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

"You were the one who said we couldn't afford a new vacuum, so stop moaning and suck harder!"

'Is my allowance an unfunded liability?'

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

"How do you make any money?"

"Which side of the plates do the cellphones go?"

"We put you through day-care. You're on your own now."

"Actually, living well on his money is the best revenge."

"Papi, do we have enough net financial assets to meet essential living expenses for nine months if our source of income disappears?"

Text our brother to let hm know dinner's ready...

'It doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl as long as it'll make enough money for a good retirement home for us!'

'How am I supposed to do my part in stimulating the economy if you won't raise my allowance?'

"Money from the Tooth Fairy, eh? Don't forget to declare capital gains!"

'Dad, I need to talk to you about my investment portfolio.'

"Before we begin, let's all take a moment to Google the true meaning of Christmas."

If the Fed can loosen it's money supply, why can't you?

'...Now just key in your safety pin number...'

Baby buying shares

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

"Mom, if this is putting a strain on our finances, I could take a year off."

Lemonade and Free Credit Report Stand

'Once they're born they immediately begin to depreciate.'

Heating Bill Prison

'He's learning how to maintain a bank account.'