Economics Chucklehead Gifts

'It's a retrospective of Bernanke's most obtuse economic jargon...'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

I have decided that all future board meetings will be held before lunch.

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Trickledown economics

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'We buy and sell them.'

"The usual? Or will you be having our 'stimulus package'?"

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

Government Handouts.

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

Leprechaun finds EU bail out at the end of a rainbow.

Office of Management & Budget. Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the U.S. budget deficit.

'Your call would have been important to us before we went out of business.'

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

Bad case of credit crunch, I'm afraid, so we'll have to slowly introduce you to a diet of cash.

'Sorry about the mess -- I've been slashing the Federal budget.'

"These days, many people can only afford to drink from home."