Economical Entertainer Gifts

In a perfect world, bean counters would only count beans.

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"Extreme miming"

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

Glyndebourne

'Actually, they're a hybrid. They are a blue-chip, common stock.'

Bouncy Castle. Hey, you kids, get out of my house!

'Don't you ever knock?'

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

'I thought up the term 'too big to fail'. So where's my bonus?'

Pottery Slam

Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

"It's a profit and loss statement. Read it with gusto!"

Tom Waits.

Sign - 'Warning: Government Spending Objectives Are Larger Than They Actually Appear.'

Budget Opticians.

'Nice Touch!'

Bankers waking up from cryo-sleep to explain the Fed's interest rate hike to you.

"O.K., so no animals were harmed, but were they adequately compensated?"

Warning Wisecracks or good-natured barbs alcohol maybe hazardous to your health,

'He'd be handsome even without the big bonus, stock options and obscene salary!'

80 Million Euros for a football player.

Home Video

"Unless you can prove their training was cruelty-free, you don't have a chance in this business."

"We outsourced our joyless TV dinners to a delightful couple from next door."

'I'm afraid the Christmas party has been cancelled on cost grounds...but the good news is that the boss has said you can still come in and photocopy your bottoms!'

"I only swallowed a 10p piece. Why are you making me cough up £50?"

"Don't be fooled into thinking he's a good provider, Muriel. I hear he buys it all on credit."

What am I doing? Oh just a little TBC. You know, Taking Care of Bailout.

'I'm leaving you because you know the price of everything and the value of nothing.'

"I don't mean to minimize your problems. That's not how I make my dough."

'Oh, Honey...I know you want a little addition to the family - But we just can't afford a 48 inch flat screen plasma.'

'I had a wonderful evening and I'm really sorry Ed's still looking for a parking spot.'