Economical Drinker Gifts

Wine to suit every pockets

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

7 Dwarves of Retirement

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

The drinker.

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

'Sometimes I see problems and solutions with such clarity, I feel I've been infused with all the wisdom of the ages... THAT'S when I know I've had too much to drink.'

6-7pm: 'Money can't buy happiness' hour.

'I think globally but I drink locally!'

'No doubt about it, THIS is the most beautiful time of the day!'

The professor had developed a product that would change the world forever.

"The great is $54.99, and I do have a near-great for $23.99."

Global warming finally hits home. . .

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

'Give me a whisky without ice, we should all do our bit.'

I'd suggest less drinking, less smoking and less watching Paris Hilton on TV as good New Years' resolutions.

Christmas drinker

'All I can say is, if you like trying new beers and hate having money, this is the one for you.'

"I prefer the cheap stuff."

'Ask for a glass from the largest bottle. You'll get more that way.'

Plus, it keeps it warm.

'I first became concerned when I noticed how much faster the ice was melting in my gin and tonic.'

'I just hate how everyone sees everything as black or white!'

Al's Bar, All You Can Drink $375.

'Well, yeah, the hot dog is 10?, but the BUN is $3.40.'

'One of these Men's wives has just discovered that you can use 180 kcalories making love.'

Actually, not overspending on the latest fashion is the new black.

"Actually, I drink to forget what my car is doing to affect global warming."

"Somethin' here says this wine is 'su-stainable.' That means if you get any on 'ya, it won't come out!"

Mmmm... Eminently palatable yet slightly robust. And no corkage fee!