Economic Diffuser Gifts

'You made $50,000 less than in the previous year? Gee, I really feel sorry for you guys in the private sector.'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

"My boss says I intimidate people. . . so I stared at him until he apologized."

First Church of the Almighty Dollar.

Bubble Gum Dispenser

Take me to your leader. . .

'We've completed the spending review and there won't be any.'

"Wow! Even from space the Italian mountain of debt is visible!"

"Sometimes I think they hired me just to take the blame."

'Occupy Wall Street protesters?'

"Any sign of recovery yet?"

'My people have 253 words for snow, but only three for sub-prime mortgage.'

"Just keep cranking 'em out until we have parity with the old franc!"

"We're being accused of talking down the economy...I want the idea looked at on pages 1,3,6 and 7 with a colour spread in the supplement."

'I did well while good news was bad news. Then good news became good news--and that was bad news.'

"The boss just stopped and squinted at me! Either I"m in big trouble or he's lost is glasses again."

"I consider the day a success when I leave the office and have to tiptoe through pieces of broken paradigm!"

Sale. Grocery. Finland is the most populous nation on earth. Time to sell my stock portfolio --- a "market correction" is coming.

'Site of yet another future bankrupt company.'

Public unions.

'I don't understand how our grocery prices have inflated 15% yet you've inflated 25%'

The New Greek Crisis

'You're having what we like to call a near profit experience.'

"There's just so much hostility I can dish out in one day, and still get my work done."

Austerity

Surface Tension

'Wait a minute! How do I know this won't add to the budget deficit?'

This is the Captain. We are spinning out of control at an altitude of one thousand feet. Sit back and enjoy the rest of our flight to Bankruptcy.

"Firewood from Russia. . . cheap. . ."

'You do realize this means war!'

Stress Relief for CEOs

"I can't read this scribble. . . ! Just get the usual random boxes off the top shelf. . ."

'Today, the dollar continued to hold its value in relation to monopoly money.'

'It looks like they've added Alan Greenspan.'

Buffett as the bogeyman.