Economic Awareness Gifts

Supermarket bill turns into snake

Food Pyramid.

'You're right when you say that there are bigger things in life than money - my bills, for instance.'

'We'll go to Santa's Grotto next year, after the recession.'

Skyrocketing Gas.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

National Everything Awareness Day

Man using to much bug spray

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"We'll always have Paris..."

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

Ideas Ahead of their Time

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. ... Actually, you know what? You can have it now."

"I'm spooked - they don't want candy, they want ice water!"

"Smokey The Tree"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

Sport Utility Boot.

"L.L. Bean slippers... $25.00 Ambulance ride to hospital... $500.00 X-rays of spine... $350.00 Three refills of hydrocodone... priceless!"

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

Can't even hold signs well.

Noise Pollution

"Oceans are rising, landmass is shrinking - so far so good."

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

Price may vary with weather.

'You must be really into recycling. Mommy says you're always talking trash.'

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

Gullib-Os

'I guess they're not here for contact.'

'So, that's where the blue water comes from!'