Economic Analyst Humor Gifts

Scandalous!

Avocado Prices

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Trickledown economics

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

Aliens - 'We heard stuff is cheap here.'

Office of economic forecasting.

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'We buy and sell them.'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'It's the NEW Chinese Stock Market Report.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

Government Handouts.

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'

Grand Opening and Closing Down Sale simultaneously occurring.

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

"That man's a legend in this office. He has 100% accuracy in predicting the past."

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

'Someday, Son, all of this will be yo....!'

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

'Sorry about the mess -- I've been slashing the Federal budget.'

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

Office of Management & Budget. Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the U.S. budget deficit.

Bad case of credit crunch, I'm afraid, so we'll have to slowly introduce you to a diet of cash.

"These days, many people can only afford to drink from home."