Eco-friendly Grill Guru T-Shirts

"I'm barbecuing with alternative energy sources, so the sausages could take a while."

"How can you be out of wings?"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Barbecuing Aprons For Today's Guys

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Barbeque Casualty.

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

Man cooking a single sausage on a very large barbeque.

"Come and get it!"

The Velvet Mesquite

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

"Hickory smoke—that's what gives it that hearty Western flavor."

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

Vegetarian Nightmare.

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

'How do you like your steaks? Scorched, burnt or cremated?'

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.

'I know, we'll lead off the presentation with me telling an incredibly long and seemingly pointless anecdote about the time I burned my finger while lighting the back yard grill...'

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

Funky Chef 2

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

'What do you mean, you can't get it to light?'

"When Stan's barbecuing nothings ever 'well done'."

Family Barbecue

'I didn't know you were a cook. I just heard Daddy say you'd make good sausages.'