Eco-fanatic Gifts

"Wow-everything still has that just-created smell!"

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

"I love you too, big guy."

God's Subcontractors

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Sale! Weed Whackers

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

"I think we have run out of time..."

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

Climate Change

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

"I can’t remember the last time he hugged me!"

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

"I solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze environmental issues...but being a renaissance man isn't what it used to be."

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

'There is nobody else. I'm afraid we've wiped out all of the other species.'

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

Ecological balance.

"Tempting, but I'm on a plastic cleanse this week."

I want to talk about the environment...