Eco-fanatic Gifts

"Wow-everything still has that just-created smell!"

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

"I love you too, big guy."

God's Subcontractors

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Sale! Weed Whackers

The eco club is starting a locavore movement here at school. "Loco" what? Eating fresh food, grown locally. So? So everyone eats healthier and uses less energy. Um � Ok. I'll tell my mom. Who are those people. Locobores.

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

"I think we have run out of time..."

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'Broccoli is biodegradable, you know, in case you want to throw it out before I eat it.'

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"If we do hire you, will you promise to bring a bag lunch and dispose of the bag in the proper receptacle?"

Climate Change

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

"I can’t remember the last time he hugged me!"

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

'I was dumped by my girlfriend.'

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

Meanwhile, back on planet earth...Greenland's ice sheet is melting faster than previously thought, sea levels could rise..."

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

Plant Parenthood...

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"I solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze environmental issues...but being a renaissance man isn't what it used to be."

'There is nobody else. I'm afraid we've wiped out all of the other species.'

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

Ecological balance.

"Tempting, but I'm on a plastic cleanse this week."