Eco-conscious Joke Fan Pillows

Firewood for Sale

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

"I modified the symbol for accuracy."

"He's a keen conservationist - especially where energy and water are concerned."

'...the downside, of course, is that I can't get the damn thing in the garage.'

"Pff! That orang utan's obviously a crisis actor!"

'He's going to a better place . . . possibly to power an '86 jetta.'

"Your DNA test came back – you're 49% from the Amazon, 49% from the Caribbean, and 2% from some plastics plant in Texas."

Vegetarian restaurant: 'Two vegetarians please.'

We've gotten all we can with traditional drilling techniques. What do you know about fracking?

"Okay, it's agreed, - if Trump gets elected we won't be heading south for the winter."

'Yeah we went for the hybrid car in the end. Margaret loves it.'

"Killing the environment with sackfuls of gift tat, i-gadgets, single-use packaging, and novelty socks - anything other than: 'Ho-Ho-Ho!' to add to your defense?"

"You've got an organ donation card? Great! Now I can officially eat you when you're dead."

'Gene Pool'

'Another advantage is everyone will have better tans.'

Earth-Friendly Financial Services: "Working to protect our planet by accumulating vast piles of your money."

'You do realize you're polluting the world with that thing!'

"Which one of you keeps turning the air conditioning down to 30 degrees?"

Well, good luck evolving, son, and don't do anything I wouldn't do! You know, like destroy the planet or something.

"Wait a minute. Isn't tonight the water conservation rally?"

Renewable energies and mobile telephones

'We used to migrate, but we heard that flying is bad for the environment.'

'We'll need a different package. It deems the new preservative dissolves cardboard.'

'I want you to know we're 100% sustainable now. We've phased out tarpits and switched to solar panels and double glazing!'

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.

Despite the abundance of giant corks on the frontier, zero emission vehicles never caught on in the Old West.

Now, this is a good garden: full of weeds! The likelyhood of somebody trying to poison us here is very low...

Did you hear about the latest oil spill, Gloria? Let me guess

I'm fully aware of the mission for a paperless society, but can I please have a toilet-roll for the gents?

Phone Book Removal Service.

'And I'm pleased to report that we were able to reduce our carbon footprint...'

"Without social media how would everyone know that I was vegan?"