Eco-conscious Caffeine Lover Gifts

'I like my extra bold Rain Forest-friendly dark roast with a can of industrial strength chemical energy drink.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Eternal Student.

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

Politically Correct Snowperson

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Sale! Weed Whackers

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

You've Had Enough!

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

'Would you all please congatulate...'

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

Countervailing Clichés.

Writers without borders.

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

Non-Power Breakfast

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Can you cut the grass but leave the daisies?"

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

"In accordance with our new 'sharing of responsibilities initiative,' you'll all be responsible for getting my coffee." i

EU and India partnership.

"Right now it's between you and two hundred and fifty other people who came to Seattle, moved in with five roommates, joined a band, took a job in a coffee bar, got fed up, had a meeting with themselves, and decided it was time to go out and find a real job."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

'What's holding him up?'