Eco-conscious Bookworm T-Shirts

How many trees were cut down to get the paper necessary to print your book?

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

Chicken soup for the sole.

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

Childhood

"You're going to create the same problems on the way down as you created on the way up."

A dead plant in the environment section.

I just bought a new Kindle Voyage. It's much better than my Kindle Paperwhite. Blasphemy, little buddy. A real man lugs around a paperback that he's milled from a fallen Redwood that he lifted off of a baby deer, before reuniting the fawn with its mother. I bought if off of Amazon. I didn't even use "one-click." I used the shopping cart and chose all the options manually. Almost as impressive. I keep it old-school.

Bib's E-Book Readers.

I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's

"Give me all the books you have on Global warming!"

'I finally got in touch with my true inner self, and he's as bad as I am.'

'I know how you feel.'

Dislecksick Sipport Grewp.h

'All our food is locally sourced.'

No toxic waste in my backyard!

Environment-Friendly books - all written within a 100-mile radius.

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"MacDonalds or the planet! What kind of choice is that?"

Open Book Therapy

'My first wife said I was ignorant. My second said I bragged too much. My third said I was conceited. And so it is that my self-knowledge just keeps growing and growing.'

Make Your Portfolio BEARable.

"Valentine's Day"

"You usually don't see the classics wash up on the beach these days."

"This book is the future of literature. It is paper-free to help save the planet and completely free of words and images so no one is offended."

What you don't know can hurt you --- Jennifer just slugged me with her algebra book.

Down with leather bookbinding. Read paperbacks.

"Are you sure? Hot sex is a leading cause of global warming??"

Gingerbread House: Green Building Award - Baked by Elves in Solar Ovens.

"Why do you need my advice, my son? You're on top of the world!"

Who's reading?

"Your son is quite the little bookworm."

Crash Testing for Dummies