Eco-buff Gifts

"More recyclables. I hate environmentally conscious people."

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

Water the hydrangeas twice a week and trim as needed. The bromeliad only needs to be high-fived on Saturday, but you can give it high and low fives anytime you have a spare moment. Just, whatever you do, don't give it a "too slow" or it will turn inward and begin shutting down.

Of Mice and Men.

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

'My real name is Bellis Perennis, but you can call me Daisy!'

Wind turbine and leaf blower.

Florist "Say it with cacti"

"Everybody on the bus today was played by Anthony Hopkins."

'This is the last time we let cartoonists have a say in the 'aviation policy.'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

'Yes, I love you, but my family would disown me if I cross-pollinated with a weed, so our relationship must end.'

"You can tell when people don't have pets, because they start to look like their plants."

Poinsettia

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

Egg Buggy

"We've had too much rain - they don't have enough - we'll sell our rain and make millions!"

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

"Uh-Oh, gotta go lads. . . I smell blood!"

Recycling Depot - Magazines, Newspapers, Free CDs, books, 8 page pull-outs and other promotions

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

'How was your holiday?'

Planner at work.

Sheds

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

Nursery keeps wildflowers in cages.

Gardening.

"It's a plant based solution."

Flytrap nerd.

"Look—I appreciate your talking to me, and I know you mean well, but you're boring."

Hope of spring.

A Thirsty Flower