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"Well, what sort of customers did you expect if all you ever learned to cook was bamboo shoots?"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Like death by salad.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

French wine

Important Food Groups

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Sauce for the Goose

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Your lobster was off!

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

Our visit to the flan factory.

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Before/After

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

'See? You call my look 'a midlife crisis' but for these guys it's a major TV series.'

'Men order. . . women shop.'