Eccentric Pet Parent Gifts

"Cats! You can't live with them and you can't live without them."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Seagiraffes

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

he used to belong to a cartoonist

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

'I've got it written down...'

'Good book?'

"It's only the wind."

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

"I know they're treating you kindly but are they treating you ethically?"

'They go on a lot of picnics.'

'What do you say we become vegetarians?'

'Dogs have more charisma but cats have more electricity.'

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

Non-working dog, please help

Teacher's pet. 'For an inner city comprehensive.'

'We're not playing hide and seek. I'm just trying to find Marm to take him to the vet.'