Eccentric Pet Parent Gifts

"Cats! You can't live with them and you can't live without them."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Seagiraffes

He won't sit, but he heels well.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

'Hon, can you fill the dog's water dish?'

'This is way better than a litter box.'

'I think I've isolated that funny noise you've been having.'

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'Don't be surprised if he throws that life preserver at you. I got him at a rescue shelter.'

Pampered Pets.

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

'I've got it written down...'

'Good book?'

The Most Interesting Dog in the World. . .

Lucky has an 'out-of-potty' experience.

"It's only the wind."

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

"It's David."

"I know they're treating you kindly but are they treating you ethically?"

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

'They go on a lot of picnics.'

'What do you say we become vegetarians?'

'Dogs have more charisma but cats have more electricity.'

Non-working dog, please help

'Why can't you just chew bones like other dogs?' (dog smoking pipe).

Teacher's pet. 'For an inner city comprehensive.'

'We're not playing hide and seek. I'm just trying to find Marm to take him to the vet.'