Eccentric Eater Pillows

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Even the waiters here are organic."

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Use your imagination.

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Imagine

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Who are These People?"

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."

'I know, but he's a genius.'

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

Human and alien exchange sex toys.

'I think we should eat out in the hotel tomorrow dear.'

Flatware Follies.

'To hell with the rules.'

Man talking to a tree.

Cafe Philosophique

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

'Ah, Baker! Still the company's lone voice in the wilderness, I see!'

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."

"Come at me, Bro!"

"He's nuts. She's nuts. All three young ones are nuts. The dog is nuts. And the old lady upstairs is nuts, too."

Clown escaping a shipwreck on an inflatable unicycle.

The Water Diviner

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

"Travis didn't believe in nouns."

What Newton didn't see

"Hi! I haven't had a crap in months. Bon appetit!"

"Whatever you do don't get onto the topic of his wacky socks."

"New York is a place of free spirits."