Easy Goer Gifts

Walking a tortoise. 'The doctor told me to take it easy.'

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

All dressed up and no place to go

Make your resolutions achievable.

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Cinemuck

"Fridge-to-table"

'Grown-ups sure make playing a lot of work.'

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. Please observe our rules. NO making lewd propositions to our performers and absolutely no touching. No touching. Let's me and you honeymoon.

'The thing I like about jazz is nobody notices if I hit the wrong notes.'

Mountain escalator.

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

Shorn sheep gets Baaaaard!

T-shirts will allegiance to different types of music on, while one guy has a shirt that reads 'middle of the road is all right with me.'

"Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish and he can avoid work his whole life."

Man leaves stretch limousine in a stretch wheelchair.

'Sorry, sir, you can't take that bucket of raw meat in - have to buy all food from our snack bar.'

"Sit down Fred!"

"No love, your Daddy isn't Spider-Man. Your Daddy is a Father For Justice."

'He passed on the climbing wall but had a go at the glass-blowing.'

"Fishing and doing nothing are not incompatible."

Memorials of The Great Exhibition - 1851. No. VII. - Hotels are quite full.

"I'm looking for one of those jobs where actual work is optional."

'I just started at the bottom and I like it there!'

'This is just the warm up.'

"No long-playing records allowed."

Ok, I'll meet you at the Optimist Club unless I get hit by a bus or something.

In a reverse universe. We say it's a wine drinking club, but the wine is really just an excuse to get together and discuss books.

'Excuse me, I think I've been wrongly seated.'

"I prefer my pineapples in Colada form."

"Go with the flow, boys!"