Earthquake Buff T-Shirts

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

Apocalypse Research Center

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

Great Moments in Computing #192: Newton discovers the computer.

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

'Once I got the cold fusion problem out of the way, the rest was easy!'

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

'Don't mind him. He gets this wa every time they start talking about the inverse relationship between bond yields and prices.'

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

Welcome to Elmville "Home of the world's biggest pothole." The mayor sure knows how to make the best of a bad situation!

Hysterically laughing monster.

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

'Times are tough, Smith, but I don't want to lay you off. So, to keep you working, I want you to wash our building. That should keep you busy for the next decade.'

Geekasaurus.

'What ever happened to that persnickety inspector?'

They Always Say That

'After looking over your portfolio, I don't think 'enough' will be enough.'

'We've discovered a new breed of shark tat has evolved is dorsal fin to disguise itself,'

Albert Einstein

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

"Just great. These humans bring us back from extinction just in time for another global climate catastrophe."

'Figuring out what a day equals is hard. I think I'll work on something easier ... '

"... But here in the outside world, I need more time and I need more space."

The Mayor Alonzo Q. Furdweiller Pothole. Looks like the mayor and the city council are bickering again.

''Relativity,' you say? — Well, it can't be any worse than your 'speed bump' theory.'

Flute-a-licious.

Leonard Bernstein

Physics toy.

"What asteroid?"

'If you think using a stick is evolutionary, wait till you try one these dipped in chocolate.'

"Finish your anchovies and then you can evolve."

Hunter-Gatherer, Agriculture, Services, Tech. . . Job-Hunter-Gatherer.