Earth Tone Decorator Pillows

"My home is done in Earth tones, so I'll have something to remember it by after we destroy it."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

'It's my main decorating motif.'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"Oh no, it's Flash Garden!"

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

"Maybe the tree wasn't such a great idea."

'I was wondering if you could take this box of squirrels and make something cool with them, like a wolf?'

'That was SO worth it!' - Christmas Tree Toppled

'Are you sure energy efficient isn't just a nice way of saying you're not too bright?'

An environmentally sound Christmas - Plant a Seedling - Full tree in 16 years.

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense.'

Wallpaper Bouguet

"Love the exposed chessboard."

'A bit extravagant don't you think you think?'

'It's my feature wall.'

'It has to have big living room, he has a sixty inch rock.'

Rich Man with Lawn Mower followed by Maid with Hoover.

'You're not taking this carbon footprint offsetting seriously - are you Smith?'

"I want a nice family Christmas photo. Now, go upstairs and put on a tree skirt."

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

"After going vegan, replacing all the animal heads just made sense."

Smiley

"Oh, nice-pulling up the blinds really lets in the light."

"Look what I found. You wouldn't believe the things that people throw out."

'The meteor saved us a bundle on a rock garden!'

'How can I stop these moles digging up the garden?'