E-commerce Professional T-Shirts

'That? That's a store, hon. In the olden days people would buy things in stores instead of online.'

"Our social media statistics show us that people don't want our product. The want videos of cats."

Online shopping - Using shopping cart mouse.

"It's a web business fed up with credit card fraud ..they prefer to be paid by cash now!"

E-commerce for shoplifters.

'The home E-commerce business is doing well, but he misses his little friends at the office.'

"I was a successful day trader...had a bad few minutes."

'Yeah, their website is called www.dazoosux.com.'

Internet Shoplifting

Terms and conditions

"Arrr! I'm a product piracy victim! Someone sold me a faked parrot!"

Drones

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Internet.

Early on-line shopping

"That's the trouble with cute kittens - they attract a lot of traffic."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

Online Shopping.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Gerald Ratner's return

"We just got our online schooling exam results..."

John Lee Dotkomm palys the 'Broker's Blues

'We're e-bankrupt.'

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

"Dude, Amazon is so popular they named a river after it."

Black Friday - the day the retailer is crucified

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

Starbucks doubles its sales by devising a way to sell coffee over the Internet,

"Our website design could be described as "organic"... in the sense that people often compare it to poop."

"I guess we'll know ol' Mr. Willis is dead when the Amazon packages stop arriving."