Dysfunctional Enthusiast Gifts

"You can stop smiling... I just said I wanted a divorce to see if you were listening!"

Desert Island Statue of Liberty.

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island Ferry trip.

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

"Instead of a bedtime story, how about strapping a bottle rocket to your doll and setting it off in your little brother’s room?" "Brad was a terrible father."

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

Lady Liberty: Give me your sick.

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

"The whole thing's much smaller than it seemed on TV."

'Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today!'

"Rayna's been kidnapped! And its all my fault!"

'You have to clean it yourself. There is no delete key.'

"My decorating style is more like 'Flung Shui'."

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

The Chrysler Buildinger

"He's a Brad Pitt Lookalike. I found him on canal street."

Tourists in New York – where are they from?

'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

Andrew Cuomo & Snake Plissken

"I told him to trim a couple of inches off the middle and he thought it was a fat remark."

New York Cab

Cat in bandages and on a crutch.

Welcome to the West Side

The Last Powerpoint

'A simple bottle would have sufficed for your specimen, Mr Thomas.'

'See! I told you my dad is a boxer!'

'The collar is imported from China. For some reason it converts to a wok.'

"Why anyone should look forward to a subway series is beyond me."

"They'll thank me – you can't get pigeons like these in Amagansett."