Dynamite Debunker Pillows

'I told you you were missing a decimal point in you dynamite calculations.'

"Stinkin' fake news!"

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

Donald Trump

"Does the N.R.A. know about this?"

"Yes, Robert. Reasonable people can have different interpretations of things, but not this thing."

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

Arrogant junior barrister

Got Rationality?

"I want to forewarn you—tonight's topic seems to be phallocentrism, and Jessica is in a take-no-prisoners mood."

Rumours Online

People, please listen. I'm talkin 'bout the income gap. The top one percent of Americans get one third of the nation's income, over double what they got in 1980. One-third. The income for the top 0.01% is 196 times the bottom 90%. Your wages have stagnated and the super-duper rich have gotten super-duper richer! How can you possibly swallow your coffee? Because you're making me do math before noon!

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

Nothing like a Strong Message for the Midterms

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

"Tell the Greeks austerity is necessary to finance our campaign to explain why austerity is necessary."

Jeremy Corbyn

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"We thought we could put in the details later."

"It started with a simple case of peer review."

'I'm uncertain on this, but I could be wrong.'

Don't worry, we're anti gun control.

Grexit

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

"I mean why don't we have a men's month!"

'Don't believe everything you hear about global cooling, it's just a theory.'

"Surely the realize that ethics laws just put us on the slippery slope of legislating morality."

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

Arguing with Edna was enough to make the brain fly out of any logical man.

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"