Doomsday Debunker Pillows

A fearless prediction for Dec. 22, 2012.

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'

'Tomorrow isn't good for me. How about tonight?'

The optimist.

WORLD ENDS TODAY!, 'You say that like it's a BAD thing.'

'Cheer up mate! . . . It's not the end of the world!'

'According to the Mayan calendar, 2012 will be the end of the world!'

'So today is meant to be the end!. . . '

The End is Neigh

'So should I bother with dinner?'

"Eastern or Central Standard time?"

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Optimist

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

'This conspiracy theory nonsense MUST end. Any suggestions?'

"About the vaccine, I read online that it was so Bill Gates could inject us with CHIPS!"

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

Rumours Online

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

"I don't care what you read on your Facebook feed, the Covid vaccine will not turn you into a zombie flesh eaters."

"Make sure you get payment up front."

Obama, the Enigma?

"When you think about it, you have to be a complete idiot not to believe aliens crashed at Roswell in 1947." "Before 1947: primitive cars, planes, and radio. After 1947: space ships, quantum computing, internet." "Let me try... Before 1947: no bikinis. After 1947: bikinis." "No, wait... The bikini was 1946. That throws this whole theory into question." "We really should have our own science show."

'It was definitely a bang. You heard it, I heard it, end of discussion.'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.