Duty Doer Pillows

"High hopes nothin'. I've got kids to feed."

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

"Me? I have a strong urge to devote my life to making the world a better place for all humanity."

'That never gets old.'

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

"People whinge about the irrelevance and duplication of paperwork, but if the forms aren't filled out how are we supposed to know how many forms have been completed?"

'Making virtue its own reward isn't EITHER a cop-out!'

"I'll walk, you shovel."

"When does the improvement part of this improvement project kick in?"

Still Here

"Seems like all of Nancy’s nonprofit work is going to her head."

"It's just that your acts of kindness are so random."

"I'm an assistance dog."

'Supervisor of the Year'

"There's absolutely nothing to do. Wanna start a podcast?"

"Yes, we're a charity tackling skyrocketing income inequality, but we're also a charity that should be saying 'I love my billionaire finder.'"

"You realise that the job involves Sunday work?"

'I came in early to get a jump on the day, but it jumped me first.'

'Tell me why I should excuse you from serving on jury duty. Be careful what you say. I have been trained to read between the lies.'

'That is one absorbent nappy.'

"I've decided to give up my day to day responsibilities."

'Samaritans, mission control'

"I'm a do-gooder, Maggie. It's not easy."

Company boss sits at desk near wall sign: Not Here To Make Friends.

Family size, economy size, giant size

'What happened to your paternity leave?'

"You do pro bono work, I work for a non-profit, we both do volunteer work... that's why we need food stamps."

"He's our most entrenched bureaucrat. Why'd you go and tell him we have unwritten rules?"

'A robot sits at desk with work boxes: Input/ Output.'

"I don't really need to go out, but as his best friend and life coach, he needs the exercise."

'It's good that you enjoy volunteerism. This job pays just about nothing.'

"I think you got the wrong end of the stick...When we voted to use the money to help the Third World by buying livestock or providing clean water....we meant to send a cheque!"

"How we doing for tips today?"

Goody 3 Shoes